


Petals Falling

by destielshipping101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Charlie's wedding, Dancing, Destiel - Freeform, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining Dean Winchester, clueless Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:48:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielshipping101/pseuds/destielshipping101
Summary: What is hanahaki?It is a extremely deadly FICTIONAL disease that is caused be a requiting one-sided love.Everyone knows of the disease and there is always the risk of your town being the one to fall prey to this horror. It's everyone's fear to have that mysterious woman to cross your town. When that happens it only leaves three options. Confess, remove your love, or ... to die. And most people take the route of surgery, to remove their love than confess.Dean would rather die than have surgery and remove his love for his blue eyed angel. But he is too weak to confess. And he knows that. So he follows the news, hoping for a cure or to at least have a clue if is town will be hit. But it's only blind hope. No one can predict which town will be hit next and there is no cure that would allow the love to stay. So Dean hopes with all his heart that his town won't be the next. Or he will surely die. But dying is better that Cas' rejection.





	1. Chapter 1

Hello peoples. It's the middle of the night and I decided to make new story. Won't be a problem right? *Nervously sweats* I will finish this before the night is over. Holy shit, the whole plot just suddenly came to me and I don't know what to do now. And I'm extremely stressed right now because... JUST FRICKEN LIFE. I GOT A SUGAR FILLED CUP OF CHAI (maximum Indian powers) AND I AM READY. LET'S DO THIS, BITCHES!

Love, Sashi

 

Read this carefully before the story please.

 

What is hanahaki?

It is a extremely deadly FICTIONAL disease that is caused be a requiting one-sided love. Person A could be in love with Person B but Person B would not be in love with Person A. When Person A's love gets too strong, flowers will grow in their lungs. The flower growing will symbolize their love. The disease progresses differently from person to person. The only ways to cure the disease is to confess their love and to have Person B fall in love with Person A or to have a surgery to remove the petals, but if the petals are removed, so will Person A's love. If Person A chooses to do nothing about it they can die within a couple months or two years depending on the person.

Warning: This fanfic has heavy angst so I do not recommend reading it if you care about a broken heart. Actually do read it, it pays the bills. Just kidding, I don't get paid for this (sadness).

-Love, Sashi


	2. Chapter 1

  _The woman rolls through the town. Some says she is the most beautiful goddess, some say she is an old witch. Nobody knows who she is. No one ever does. She doesn't mean harm, it just happens whenever she is anywhere. She uses the excuse that people fall in love everywhere and that it isn't her fault, but deep down she loaths herself. For killing innocent, unsuspecting people for falling in love. She goes everywhere. From town to town, city to city, country to country. She understands that she terrifies people, hell, she is even terrified of herself. But the job has to be done. She has had to take care of the lovers in the world, only she has a unfortunate side effect. Two words, Hanahaki Disease. every town or city she visits, comes under her_ _horrible ineffable curse. One sided love is everywhere. Everyone lives in fear that their town would be visited next. She has been around since time began, she doesn't understand her purpose. Perhaps it's to keep the balance, to keep only the strong and brave on earth. She has been around so long that, humans have figured out a way around death, around those horrid flowers. Surgeries that could take way their love but give them the rest of their life. To choose between life and love. The hardest choice someone could make._

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        Dean slumps back in his chair. The case is stuck, no leads, no sulfur, no other occurrences. Maybe it’s just normal murder and he is just wasting his time. He takes a swing of his beer and gets up to stretch is aching back, his joints popping back into place. He turns on the tv to have something to concentrate on.

        The woman on the tv says,"The number of hanahaki cases have increased 50% in the past 5 years. The cause is unknown and the first disease in the medical field to be emotion related which makes it difficult for the scientists to find the cause."

        Dean rolls his eyes. Obviously that is a supernatural occurrence, not a medical one. These idiots. Of course, he has tried to figure out the cause, but so has every hunter before him. No one has a clue about the disease, only of a strange woman coming though town, infecting the citizens. At least there is a cure, then the civilians would have a chance to survive.

        He downs the rest of his beer and gets up to get another one. He walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge. He hears a faint fluttering behind him and turns around and he knocks into Castiel.

        "Dammit Cas. I told you not to sneak up on me like that."

        "My apologies."

        "So, do you have any leads on the case?", Dean says, opening the beer bottle with his bare hands.

        "No. It's normal murder. We wasted two whole days," Cas sighs while slumping in his chair.

        "It's fine. Want some beer? Let's take a break for a while."

        "Yes, some alcohol would be appropriate for this situation."

        "Damn straight," Dean says while sliding a beer over.

        They sit on the table together in comfortable silence, the news playing in the background. 

        "So Dean, is there any other cases we can work on since this on obviously didn't work out?," Cas says trying to make conversation.

        "Nothing at all. Sam has been working for two days straight trying to find some new cases. He found nada."

        "Don't we have any plans next weekend?," Cas says, hinting at something.

        Dean squints at him suspiciously. "We don't have anything next weekend Cas. What are you talking about?"

        "You assbutt, next weekend is Dorothy and Charlie's wedding," Cas says annoyed.

        Dean's eyes widen in realization. He wants to bang his head into the table at his own stupidity.

        ”Holy shit, how did I forget? Thanks for reminding me, Cas. Charlie would rip out my intestines if I forgot to go."

        "I don't think she would rip out your insides but she would be very angry."

        Dean smiles at Cas' and his endearing innocence. "It's just an expression."

        "That's a relief. I would be quite angry with Charlie if she killed you. Well maybe it would stop you from sleeping on the couch and blocking the tv."

        "Ha ha, you cracking jokes now?"

        "I'm doing nothing of the sort," Cas says while smirking one of his rare smiles.

        "Do you have anything to wear?," Dean asks.

        "I have my suit, I think that would be effective enough."

        "Come one, this is the biggest day of Charlie's life. We have to buy you a tux."

        "I don't see why we have to buy a tuxedo if I have my suit." 

        "Because everyone has seen you in that suit. We have to get something special for their big day."

        "Ok, Dean. When can we go shopping for the appropriate clothing?"

        Dean glances at the clock and it reads six o'clock. "We could have gone today but it's too late. Nowhere would be opened."

        "Maybe we can go tomorrow and bring Sam with us."

        Just as Cas said that Sam walked in, dragging his moose feet on the floor.

        "Bring Sam where?" Sam asks with bags under his eyes.

        "To go tuxedo shopping for Cas. But I think you should stay home to catch up on some sleep. You look like crap."

        "Feel like it too," Sam say while rubbing his eyes. "Tuxedo shopping for what?"

        Cas rolls his eyes. "For Charlie's wedding," he says even more annoyed.

        "I wonder how you guys would survive without me reminding you of everything."

        "Simple, we won't," Dean says with a smirk. When Cas gets grumpy, he acts like an angry kitten.

        Dean has always thought of Cas as more than a friend. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn't fallen head over heels for the angel and the thought of going tuxedo shopping with him made him more excited than it should. Dean has accepted that he loves the angel. The only problem is that Cas doesn't feel the same way. Of course he wouldn't. But the problem is the risk of hanahaki always hanging over his head.

        Everyone knows of the disease and there is always the risk of your town being the one to fall prey to this horror. It's everyone's fear to have that mysterious woman to cross your town. When that happens it only leaves three options. Confess, remove your love, or ... to die. And most people take the route of surgery, to remove their love than confess.

        Dean would rather die than have surgery and remove his love for his blue eyed angel. But he is too weak to confess. And he knows that. So he follows the news, hoping for a cure or to at least have a clue if is town will be hint. But it's only blind hope. No one can predict which town will be hit next and there is no cure that would allow the love to stay. So Dean hopes with all his heart that his town won't be the next. Or he will surely die. But dying is better that Cas' rejection.

        "Dean?," his brother says while waving his hand in front of his face, "You seem a bit spaced out there."

        "Yeah," Dean says while rubbing his eyes, "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night."

        "Well, that beer isn't helping to keep you awake," Sam says while placing a mug of coffee in front of Dean.

        "Thanks Sammy."

        Sam just rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen. He gave up on being called 'Sam' years ago.

        "So are we going to town tomorrow?" Cas asks.

        "Yep. We got a lot to do so we better get to bed early."

        "I don't sleep, Dean."

        "Oh right. By the way, what do you do at night? Since you don't sleep or whatever."

        "I watch television or do something in the bunker. You still have the nightmares sometimes so I watch over you sometimes."

        Dean feels his cheeks heat up and all he can say is "oh".

        "Is it okay to do that, Dean?"

        "It's fine. Just don't do it in a creepy way," he says jokingly even though he is still blushing.

        "Never."

        "Wanna at some Netflix? We can watch another episode of Orange is the New Black."

        Cas instantly gets excited. "Of course Dean. I really want to know if that is actually the ex-girlfriend. Maybe Piper was actually just imagining it."

        Dean smiles, knowing that it was actually the ex-girlfriend but he doesn't want to spoil.

        "Come on. Let's go to my room and watch."

        They walk to Dean's room and Cas sits on the bed while Dean finds his laptop. Dean sits next to him with their legs touching, balancing the laptop on their laps. They goes through an episode and a half before Dean starts dozing off. His head falls on Cas' shoulder with his eyes closed and his breath even. Cas doesn't move in fear of waking Dean. He goes through the rest of the episode before he decides to lay down. He gently takes Dean off his shoulder and lays him down on the bed and Cas lays down soon after. He feels Dean throw his arm over him and lays his head on Cas' broad chest, snuggling in. Cas wraps an arm around Dean's shoulder. He watches until he decided he had enough. Cas know he can sleep, he just thinks it's irrelevant. But he is so warm that he dozes off and falls asleep with Dean in his arms.

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        Dean wakes up the next morning, feeling refreshed and warm. He slept better than he had in months. His head is rested on a solid pillow, but it's nice. As he wakes up more, he realizes that it wasn't a pillow, it was a chest. Hot just any chest. It was Castiel. His chest is falling and rising evenly which is a dead giveaway that he is sleeping.

        Dean has never seen Cas asleep since he was human. Dean looks at his face, all the lines from stress washed away from his face. He looks beautiful. Dean has an urge to place his hand over his cheek and to feel the stumble there and to trace his thumb over those full lips. But he doesn't. Because, god forbid if Cas actually wakes up and catches him. He wouldn't have a excuse for that.

        Dean gets up and sits on the bed, stretching his arms.

        "Good morning Dean," he hears the gravely voice behind him.

        "Good morning sunshine," Dean says out of habit. He has said that every morning since they moved into the bunker.

        "Sorry I slept here tonight. I didn't want to wake you and you looked so comfortable."

        "Yeah, it's fine Cas. Just don't tell Sam about this."

        Cas tilts his head. "I don't understand what negative outcome can come from telling him but okay."

        Dean throws on his robe on and heads for the kitchen with Cas following close behind. When they walk out of Dean's room, just his luck, Sam walks by.

        Sam looks at Dean, then Cas, then Dean again, with wide eyes. He shakes his head and walks away smiling saying," I'm not even gonna ask".

        Cas gives Dean a confused look but doesn't say anything. Dean's face just turns a deep crimson as he walks towards the kitchen to make coffee. He sets two mugs on the table and puts french vanilla coffee creamer in one and one spoon sugar with milk in the other. Dean has always made coffee for both him and Cas since they moved to the bunker. he memorized the way Cas takes his coffee and does it out of habit now. Coffee is one of the only things that doesn't taste like molecules to him.

        Dean places the mugs on the table. Cas sits next to Dean so they can look at the tuxedo and suit catalog that Dean brought out from his room.

        "I like this one. We can get you a light blue dress shirt to bring out your eyes and its Charlie's theme. Maybe we should call her before we buy so we can make sure."

        "Whatever you say Dean. If she says yes, can we wear the same color?" he says pleading wit his crystal blue eyes.

        "I'll think about it," Dean says while dialing Charlie's number.

        The call rings for a few seconds before she picks.

        "Hey Dean. I was just about to call you. So what's up?"

        "Cas and I were wondering if we can wear a light blue dress shirt under our tux. We are going to buy some today."

        "Actually I would be cool with it but we have to match at the alter."

        Dean crinkles his forehead. "What do you mean?"

        "Umm, I was about to call you so you and Sam can walk me down the aisle. My uncle can't make it for the wedding and you guys are like the big brothers I never had. So it would mean a lot me if you could do this for me."

        Dean smiles wide and says, "I would love to Charlie. You are like my baby sister. Love ya Charles."

        "Love ya too Dean. Also tell your little angel that he could be my groomsmen. I would love to have him walk me down too but I only have two arms. And about the tuxedos, I’ll send you a link for the one I want all the groomsmen to wear and just buy a light blue bowtie."

        "Ok Charles. See you next weekend."

        "Bye Dean."

        Dean hangs up and looks at Cas who is lazily stirring a spoon in his coffee. He looks up and says,"What did Charlie say?"

        "Well, Sam and I walking her down the aisle and you are her groomsman."

        "Really?," Cas says, his eyes lighting up, making Dean's heart melt a little.

        "Yep, and we have to wear a normal tux with a blue tie. We just have to go to the store to get it fitted."

        "Okay, so when should we go?"

        "Maybe around 11 and we have to tell Sam-."

        Maybe Sam has power to know that someone is saying his name because he comes in at that moment.

        "Tell Sam what?," Sam asks in third person. Again.

        "That Charlie called and said you and I could walk her down the aisle."

        "YESSS. I would love to. I'm so excited for next weekend."

        "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, we are going to the store at 11."

        "Ok Mommmm," Sam say running out of the room to the library. That nerd.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(In the car)

        "What tux did Charlie say to get?," Sam asks/

        Dean passes his phone, "Go to the messages and find Charlie."

        Sam whistles."Charlie goes all out, doesn't she?"

        "Yep, but I can't imagine her being lazy about any of this."

        They arrive at the tuxedo store and get sized. They only have two sizers at a time so Sam and Dean got sized first which would take about half an hour (I don't think it takes that long but just go with it). While waiting Cas checked out stores in the mall. He saw a dance studio.He remembered Dean talking about how he was force to take tango classes when he wanted to impress some girl. Maybe we could surprise Charlie at her wedding. 

        The receptionist asked,"What can I for you?"

        "Well, I want to learn tango for a friend's wedding. I don't know the dance so I was wondering if you could show me some pointers. I have someone who already knows tango but want to see if I would be able to do it," Cas says talking fast from how nervous he is.

        The woman smiles at his shyness. "I would usually charge you but I think some pointers wouldn't hurt. Come this way," she says while leading him to a studio.

        For the half hour, he learnt the some of the basics. "Wow. Im impressed. You move so freely."

        "Thank you very much. And take this please," Cas says handing her 20 dollars.

        "No it's fine. I was bored and this was fun," she says refusing the money.

        "I wasted half an hour of your time. Take the money please," he says smiling at her politey.

        "Ok sir. Thank you for coming and I know your friend would love this at their wedding."

        Cas says goodbye to her then goes back to the fitting place.

        "Hey Cas. What were you doing?"

        "I'll tell you later."

        They wait for Cas to finish getting sized and then they head back to the bunker. Cas waits for sam to go to bed and then he sits with Dean at the table.

        "What's up with you?," Dean asks.

        "What to you mean?"

        "You're fidgeting."

        Cas bit his lip nervously,"I was wondering...would you like to do a dance for Charlie's wedding?" Cas was half expecting Dean to laugh at him. But he just asks,"What kind of dance?"

        "Ermm... Tango?"

        Dean thinks for a moment and he was about refuse but then he sees Cas' unintentional puppy-dog eyes.

        "Sure. But why did you get this idea?"

        "I was walking while you were getting sized and I passed by a studio. I asked to learn the basics so you wouldn't have a hard time."

        Dean smiles, imagining the angel dancing and being awkward about it.

        "Can I see what they taught you?"

        "Okay, let’s just go to the spare room. it has more space"

        They both walk to the room and Cas started the music on his phone. He takes stance and starts moving his body. Dean's jaw drops. Instead of being the cute, awkward mess that he expects, Cas looks like an actual sex god. He moves his body sensually and moves his hips like a pro and Dean can't take his eyes off of him. 

        He stops dancing halfway through the song since he didn't know the rest.

        "I know I'm bad but its a work in progress," he says looking down at his feet, now feeling embarrasses.

        "Cas, you were amazing. I think you are better than me. How did you do that?"

        "I don't know. I just did. So do you want to do it?"

        "Let's do it," Dean says smiling.

        They spend the rest of the week spinning through their dance, practicing every night when Sam goes to bed. They dance for hours memorize it till they don't even think about each step, their muscles remembering their repetitive movement so they could just glide through the song. By the time they perfect their song, it's already the end of the week.

 

     ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

(Saturday morning)

        “Sam, did you put the suitcases in the car? The wedding starts at 6:30. We can’t be late.”

        ”They’re all there. Stop nagging, we have enough time. Go check up on Cas and make sure he is ready.”

        Dean walks to Cas’ room and knocks. 

        Cas comes out of the room with a excited smile on his face.

        They both walk out of the bunker and to the car, all of them excited for the weekend.

        They drive for only two hours before they reach the hotel that all the guests are attending. They check in at the desk and take the elevator to their rooms. When they walk in the room its freezing from the air condition running. There are three beds, a bathroom, and a balcony. They hang out their tuxedos out so they won't wrinkle and then immediatly head out to find Charlie.

        They walk to Charlie's room and knock.

        "Who is it?," says their red headed friend from the closed door.

        "It's Batman,"Dean says smiling.

        They hear a squeal and then Charlie yelling at someone to open the door for the brothers and the angel. They hear the door unlock and see a flash of red and they are all soon engulfed in a hug.

        "Hey Charlie," Dean says while pulling away to look at her face.

        "You look beautiful," Sam says with happiness in his eyes.

        "Hello Charlie. We missed you at the bunker," Cas says while smiling.

        "I missed you guys so much. I can't believe I'm getting married. I never thought I would score girl that hot."

        They all laugh together for the rest of the morning while Charlie got her hair and makeup done. Afterwards they left to get ready. Dean helped Cas with his tuxedo since he kept putting it on inside out. After they were done and Sam hogged the bathroom to style is hair, they were all ready.

        Dean drove them to the church that Charlie and Dorothy were gonna get married at. They all took pictures at the entrance for before the wedding. They peeked in to make sure everyone was seated at the pews and Dorothy was waiting at the alter with the priest.

        Charlie walks up to Sam and Dean.

        "Are you ready?,"Dean asks.

        "I have never been more ready," she says with huge grin on her face.

        She holds onto both their outstretched elbows and steps forward. They walk her to the alter and hand her off, they would both be lying if they said they didn't have tears in their eyes.

        The ceremony was beautiful and after vows were spoken, they ran out of the church hand in hand to take pictures.

        At the reception the theme was light blue and sea green. After speeches, they were going to dance. But Cas had other plans when he whispered to the dj to put on a selected song.

        Cas clinks a fork to the edge of a Champagne glass. "Excuse me. Can I have your attention please?" The room quieted.

        "I would like to raise a toast to Charlie and Dorothy and wish them a lifetime of joy together." Everyone took a sip of their champagne.

        "Also, I have a special wedding gift for them. If you would all please clear the dance floor."

        Dean and Cas walk up to the middle of the dance floor and Cas give the dj a thumbs up to start the song.

        They each go into stance and they hear a song playing. Suddenly they are soaring and dancing and Dean forgets about everyone there. It feels so much different to see Cas dancing with him in the hall in a tuxedo than in the bunker in sweatpants. Dean sees only Cas and his heart clenches at what he can't have. When they stop dancing, panting, they hear clapping all-around them. Cas looks at him while panting and he has so much joy in his eyes. Dean can’t look away.

        Suddenly Dean feels his throat tighten. Oh no. He knows what this is. It can't be. Not here. Not now. Anytime but now. He breaths in and out thinly, hoping the feeling would go away.

        Cas asks, “Are you alright?," immediately knowing something is wrong.

       " I'm just tired from the dancing. I have to head to the bathroom for a second."

        He rushes to the bathroom to cough like he so desperately wants to do but he fears a petal will fall out. Once he gets there, he locks the door and coughs into his hand, violently. He feels something fall out of his mouth and into his palm. He already feels the tears welling up in his eyes. He is too scared to open his palm. Too scared to see what he has feared for years. But eventually he opens his palm and he sees a small, white, delicate petal. This time the tears spill. Why does this have to happen? Why does this have to happen now? He falls to his knees and sobs while clutching the white petal in his hand. 

        He takes his phone out of his pocket and google searches 'Hanahaki Kansas' and sees a news report from a couple hours ago.

        ”Sightings of hanahaki are spreading throughout Kansas. Residents be cautious and we recommend all residents who believe to be subjectable to the disease, to leave the state immediately,” says the newscaster.

        'Too late for that now,' he thinks.

_Dammit. Why am I crying at Charlie's wedding? I need to get ahold of myself._

        With that, he picks himself up from the dirty bathroom floor and washes his face. He dries his face and sees his red rimmed eyes. He figures that he could blame it on the alcohol.

        When he opens the door he sees Cas with his fist up like he was about to knock on the door. Dean feels his heart pang.

        "Cas?"

        "I was wondering what took you so long," Cas says while frowning. "Your eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

        "No, I just had too much to drink. I feel nauseous."

        "How about we get you back to the hotel room?"

        "But what about the reception? I don't want to miss it."

        Cas worries his lip then says,"We'll stay but if you are still nauseous after an hour, we are leaving."

        "Ok Cas," he says while his heart fill because worry in Cas' voice. 'Stop that' he scolds himself mentally.

        "How about we go out and get some air?" 

        Dean nods and they both go outside. As soon as the chilly air hit his lungs, he started coughing again.

        "Dean? Are you ok?"

        Dean keeps on coughing until another petal falls into his palm. He quickly closed his fist around it and slipped it into his pocket before Cas could see it.

        "I'm fine. I think I just picked up something."

        Cas eyes him suspiciously. He notices Dean’s dodgy behavior but I won’t question it now.

”Maybe we should go back to the hotel.”

”No! Please, I want to stay till the end. Charlie only gets married once, you know.”

Cas sighs, “Fine but as soon as it is over, we are leaving. Deal?”

”Deal,” Dean says pattering inside. In truth, he would go back to his hotel room by now but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the petal right now. It would just make it more real. Right now the petal in his pocket feels like a rock, just weighing him down. The more he goes forward, the more tired he gets, the closer he feels to collapsing from the stress of it all.

 

(Hi, this is Sashi over here and please follow me on tumblr at meet-me-on-the-ceiling. Also please comment and hit kudos please!)


	3. Chapter 2

Dean closes the door to the hotel room behind him. All he wants to do is sleep but he is buzzing with adrenaline, ringing his hands and constantly looking behind him as if the woman would be standing behind him. Just waiting to whisk him away.

He is unaware of Cas, watching him be so uncharacteristically nervous. Cas understands that Dean has always had his own variety of issues. Hell, he has quite a few himself but that never stops him. But Dean never shows when something is troubling him. Ever.

"Dean..?," Cas says, gingerly, not wanting to startle him.

Dean coughs and then turns around, "Yes, Cas?"

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yeah," he says hesitantly, "I'm fine. Just a bit tired."

Sam then walks out of the bathroom with plaid pajamas. He floops on the bed and falls asleep imediatlly. Dean walks in the bathroom and stares at his image in the mirror. 'How could I let this happen?'

Dean's eyes are bloodshot from stress and he could hear his own heartbeat. He feels something crawling up is throat. He hacks out another white petal. Dean steps backwards and slides down the bathroom wall, just staring at the flower. Then he remembers that each person's flower symbolizes something about the person's love. Dean turns on the shower faucet so it doesn't seem strange that he is in there so long.

He pulls out his phone and takes a picture of the petal in his palm and image searches it.

'Angelica flower: Pure and true intention. white fluffy petals that are wispy as angel wings.' Of course, angel wings. Dean chuckles to himself, darkly, at the irony of it. Dean feels a tear roll own his face. He didn't even realize he was crying. Another tear follows, then another, and another and soon he was sobbing on the cold bathroom floor. Dean gets ahold of himself and then turns the faucet of and changes into his pajamas.

He opens the door and finds Cas right in front of the door.

"Dean," Cas says with his voice lowered, "Why were you crying?"

"I-I wasn't crying."

"Do not lie to me. Your eyes are red and I heard you outside the door."

Dean rubbed his face and looked into Cas' blue eyes and saw nothing but concern there.

"You know what man? I'm just done with this life. None of us can have anything and Charlie finding love just makes me so happy but...I'm just jealous," Dean says, trying to wing the truth. Dean is envious of Charlie but that doesn't outweigh how happy he is for her. He just wants Cas off of his back for a while.

Suddenly he is engulf in a hug, the angel holding him comfortingly in his arms. Dean tenses up at first and then melts and wraps is own arms around Cas and snuggles is head into his neck. Dean pulls away and feels another petal in this throat, he stifles it and smiles at Cas who gives a small smile back.

Dean heads to his own bed and Cas to his. Dean hears Cas' snores and the looks at the clock, 4:33 am. He gets up and puts on his boots and jacket without making any noise. He can hear the crickets chirping as he silently closes the door.

There are many things that Dean regrets; allowing Sam to release Lucifer, kicking Cas out because 'Ezekiel' told him to. etc. But falling for Cas has never been one of them and will never be. Dean walked and walked down the dirty sidewalk until day broke. He thought about all of the things he would miss...about why he would do this to Sammy. Sam didn't deserve to lose his brother but Dean can't even bear to think about the surgery...or confessing. The rejection would kill him faster than the disease.

Dean runs his fingers nervously through his hair and heads back to the apartment with three new petals already coughed up. Now how was he going to hide these stupid things. Sam is too smart and he will catch up on it eventually. 'Maybe I should leave for a while. But that would make them more suspicious.' By the time he was done with his mental argument he was already in front of the hotel room.

Sam and Cas were in their FBI gear for some reason in their clean black suits.

"What's going on?," Dean asks.

"Cas found a case in the area. We're gonna stay here for a while," he says while fixing the cuffs.

"What happened?" Sam opened his mouth to answer but was cut off. "Wait wait wait, let me guess. Is it..." Dean pauses for suspense. "...a shapeshifter!"

"Actually," Cas steps in, "you're right."

"Really? That's a first," Dean mumbles the last part under his breath.

"Ok, well, we're going out now," Sam says while moving past him.

"Is there anything I can do other than sit with my thumbs in my ass?"

Sam grimaces and says,"Cas told me you weren't feeling too good last night. Maybe you should sit this one."

Dean pouted and was about to retaliate but then he felt the start of a petal crawling up his throat.

"Ok fine. I'll just visit Jody while I'm here."

Sam's eyebrows raised. He was expect at least a bit of protesting from Dean's end.

"Feel better, Dean," Cas said sincerely which only caused another thump of Dean's heart beat and another petal to grow in his lungs. Dean hisses at the pain but tries to hide it from his face.

They head out and leave Dean alone in the room. Dean flops on the lumpy mattress and stares at the empty, slightly yellow ceiling.

Dean has already gone through the scenarios in this head about what to do. Sam could find out...he could get surgery...Cas could leave him. The last thought sent a shiver down his spine. What is Cas does leave me?

‘No he won't. I think.’

Even is he does leave Dean, he probably deserves it. The number of times he has pushed people away. Dean is surprised he still has Sammy but then again, he was his brother. 

After being alone with his thoughts for way too long, he finally lulls to sleep.

————————————

_“Cas! Please understand! I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Dean yells while Cas is packing his bags and Sam is silently standing behind him._

_Dean has tears building up in his eyes and one escapes. Cas has a neutral look on his face._

_Just as Cas was about to leave, Dean grabs hold of the sleeve of his trademark trenchcoat._

_”Please don’t leave,” Dean says, his voice cracking on the last word, even with his effort to keep his voice even._

_Cas turns around with fire in his eyes, ”Dean,” Cas says, without the normal tenderness l, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t walk out this door right now.”_

_Dean casts his eyes down, but his had is still sitting on Cas’ sleeve._

_”Because...I..um...I’m in love with you.”_

_Cas scoffs. “I already told you that I don’t feel the same way. I’m not coming back until you get that surgery.”_

_Dean looks into Cas’ eyes for the first time since he started packing. “I can’t.”_

_”Then die. See if I care,” Cas says carrying his stuff out the door._

_Dean feels his heart clenching and softly whispered, “I thought you were my friend.”_

_This stopped Cas from walking down the hallway, and to turn around and look at him._

_“Pathetic. You were always just an ally. Nothing more.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I could write the next chapter faster. Every comment gives me so much encouragement.


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